How do you get back into the dating scene after a breakup?
What happens at the end of a long-term relationship? How long should you wait before you dive back into the dating pool?
It’s true that dealing with heartbreaks might take a long time, and getting used to being alone is possible. That’s why a lot of people have trouble finding love again. However, while it might seem like an emotionally draining task, dating after a long relationship is not impossible.
While there might be no straight answer on how to get back into dating after a long-term relationship, there are several factors you should always consider.
- Take Your Time
Heartbreaks can be very messy, so don’t feel pressured to start dating immediately. Instead, allow yourself to heal, process your emotions and rediscover yourself.
Check-in on yourself and pay attention to how you generally react to relationships. Once you process your emotions and have an understanding of how they’ll affect your decision-making in the future, you might be ready to get back out there.
However, you are not advised to wait too long, lest the dating world turns into a dark, scary place. If you feel like you’re ready to start dating after a long relationship, feel free to step back in. You can continue with the healing process while out in the dating pool.
- Your Ex Remains in the Past
If you’re trying to date after you’ve been single for a while, then you have to let go of your ex, both physically and emotionally. Detaching yourself might seem drastic, but you’ll find moving on an impossible task as long as your ex is in your life. So, stop contacting them in any way, and find a way to accept your breakup and deal with the emotions.
This is a crucial step that determines how you interact with dates in the future. For example, do you constantly compare your partners to your ex? Do you still talk about your ex frequently? Are they a point of reference on the dates you go on? If you answered yes to any of the questions, then you might not be ready to start seeing other people yet.
Comparing your partners might hurt their feelings, and they feel disrespected and insignificant.
- Identify the Pros and Cons of Your Previous Relationship
A long-term relationship doesn’t equal a perfect one, meaning there are several things you didn’t like about your partner or your relationship in general.
If you’re wondering how to get back into dating without rushing things, it’s important you take a minute and appreciate the good and the bad of your previous relationships. This habit allows you to realize your dating pattern, thus giving you a chance to avoid falling back into unhealthy relationships. In addition, looking back at the choices you made allows you to be accountable, so you don’t keep villainizing your ex all the time.
- There’s More to Life
Hangout with friends and explore the world around you
The world does not revolve around romance, and neither does your life. There are plenty of things going on around you, so stop for a moment and take it all in. Then, pick up a hobby, learn something new, or plan a trip, with or without friends.
If you’re trying to get back into dating after being single for a long time, it’s essential to expand your view and thoughts about what you really want and need. It is tempting to go into a dating drive, especially if you’re on dating apps. Getting a life allows you to cultivate healthy relationships, romantically and otherwise.
- Be Realistic about Your Expectations
While it’s advisable to be optimistic when dating after a long relationship, tame your expectations to a realistic level. While it is strongly advised to have a list of expectations and deal breakers, always remember people are not perfect, and neither are you.
Unrealistic relationships make it hard for you to find a partner, and you might also scare away a potential partner. To avoid such incidents, make a list of your relationship needs and wants before you start dating. The wants are factors that add extra points, but they have no significant impact on your relationship. You can learn to compromise or work your way around such factors. On the other hand, your needs are non-negotiable, and you feel that you wouldn’t want to invest in a relationship without them. Such factors include faithfulness and health.
This objectiveness helps to ground your expectations, and it also makes it easier to meet the ideal partner.
- Expand Your Social Circle
Naturally, a lot of people tend to detach themselves from the world if they are dealing with heartbreak. While this is an understandable reaction, it often has a negative impact on your healing process.
Keeping your friends close offers you a great support system, and you can always rely on them for insight. In addition, friends are always a great way of getting reacquainted with the dating scene.
If you are far from your friends, look for communities in your local area that share your interests. Then, as you continue to settle into your new reality, continue to broaden your social circle. Join the gym, attend social events, join book clubs and enroll in evening classes, anything to keep you social. This helps in centering yourself, rediscovering parts of you that faded into the relationship, and finding new hobbies. And what better support system than friends?
- Try a Dating App
You might have sworn never to love again after your heartbreak, and there’s no pressure to think otherwise. However, it wouldn’t hurt to create a dating profile that allows you to flirt with strangers or make new friends. Of course, you don’t have to swipe immediately, but you’ll surely enjoy being swiped on and hit on by numerous people. These thrills are a good way of kickstarting your healing process before you decide to start dating after a long relationship.
For instance, taimi.com offers you a platform where you can find dating services and a social network at the same time. While you can opt to just flirt, you can consider rebound dating. It offers you new and fun experiences with different people, and perhaps that’s exactly what you need.
While the dating scene might be chaotic and confusing, it’s also hopeful and thrilling. Trying to get back into dating after being single for a long time isn’t as daunting as it seems. All you have to do is open your heart to emotional adventure.
What are some of the things you learned about dating after a long relationship? Do you think successful dating after long-term relationships is possible? Share your tips and thoughts with us. We would love to hear from you!
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